Estate Planning for Couples: If You Love Them, Plan With Them
By Allison Gloss, The Law Office of Libby Banks
When couples talk about relationship milestones, they usually think of moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, or having children. Estate planning rarely makes the list. Yet creating, or updating, an estate plan may be one of the most meaningful acts of care partners can take for one another.
Estate planning is not about anticipating the worst. It is about making sure the person you love is protected, empowered, and spared unnecessary stress during life’s most difficult moments. Whether a couple is married, unmarried, or intentionally choosing not to marry, planning together is a powerful way to show one’s love.
Why Every Couple Needs a Plan—Married or Not
One of the most common misconceptions is that estate planning only matters for wealthy couples or those nearing retirement. In reality, couples of all ages and financial situations benefit from planning. Accidents, illness, and incapacity can happen to anyone at any time.
Married couples often assume the law automatically gives spouses full authority to act on one another’s behalf. Unmarried couples may assume the opposite, that nothing can be done without marriage. The truth lies somewhere in between, and assumptions on either end can lead to serious problems.
For married couples, some legal rights exist by default. However, those rights are often limited, vary by state, and may not apply in situations involving incapacity, financial decisions, or blended families. Marriage alone does not automatically allow a spouse to manage retirement accounts, sign legal documents, or make medical decisions. We have seen spouses unable to take distributions from a partner’s 401(k) or even schedule a doctor’s appointment once a spouse becomes incapacitated because no power of attorney was in place.
For unmarried couples, the law generally provides no automatic authority at all, no matter how long the relationship has lasted or how committed the partners may be.
The Power of the Right Documents
Four foundational tools play a critical role in estate planning for couples: beneficiary designations, powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and revocable living trusts.
Beneficiary designations control who receives certain assets, such as retirement accounts or life insurance, regardless of what a will or trust says. These designations should be reviewed regularly to ensure they reflect the couple’s current intentions. An outdated designation can unintentionally exclude a partner or leave assets to an ex-partner (yikes!).
Powers of attorney are especially important yet frequently overlooked. A financial power of attorney allows a designated person to manage finances if one partner becomes incapacitated. A healthcare power of attorney authorizes someone to make medical decisions when a person cannot speak for themselves.
This is particularly critical for couples who are decidedly unmarried. If partners want to have the same practical ability to act on one another’s behalf in the event of incapacity, a power of attorney is essential. Without it, hospitals, banks, and other institutions may turn to biological family members instead, regardless of the partner’s wishes or relationship.
Additionally, many couples benefit from a revocable living trust. A revocable living trust allows assets to be managed during life and seamlessly transferred upon incapacity or death without court involvement. If one partner becomes incapacitated, a successor trustee can step in immediately to manage trust assets, pay bills, and maintain financial stability.
Revocable living trusts are particularly helpful for couples with jointly owned assets, blended families, or those with privacy concerns. They help avoid probate, reduce delays, and provide a clear roadmap for asset management and distribution. For unmarried couples, trusts can also be used to ensure a surviving partner is financially protected in ways that default laws would not otherwise allow.
Planning Together Is an Act of Partnership
Estate planning works best when couples approach it as a shared conversation rather than a solo task. Discussing goals, values, and concerns fosters transparency and trust. It also ensures that both partners understand the responsibilities they may one day need to care for each other.
Valentine’s Day reminds us that love is not only expressed through gifts or grand gestures. Sometimes, love looks like paperwork, thoughtful conversations, and planning ahead.
Give your loved ones a meaningful gift that lasts longer than flowers or chocolates by getting your estate plan in place. We give you the gift of a complimentary initial consultation. Call us at 602-375-6752 to schedule, or visit our website at www.libbybanks.com